I hate when people can't speak English. Oh, it's all well and good when they speak another language fluently; I'm not so obsessed with my language that I think the entire world should speak it. No, what I can't stand is when people make egregious (egregious? does that fit here?) errors with complete abandon. We've all taken grammar for every year we've been in school, so there's no excuse. Is it so hard to master these simple concepts:
-Putting the first-person pronoun last ("you and I" as opposed to "I and you")
-Using I in the nominitive case and me in the objective case ("you and I went to the fair" as opposed to "you and me went to the fair")
-Using 'to have' and 'to get' correctly ("What we got for lunch?" is NOT RIGHT)
-Using 'Who" in the nominative case and 'Whom' in the objective ("For whom does this bell toll?" versus "Who ate my Cheetos?")
-'Good' is an adjective, 'Well' is an adverb (and a noun too, but disregard that). Adverbs do not describe nouns. ("I did well" as opposed to "I did good". Similarly, "The day was good" as opposed to "The day was well")
And that's just the vocal bit. In writing it just gets worse. Let's review:
-Their, There and They're are 3 different words. ("They're going to find their books, which are over there")
-Similarly, To, Too, and Two are 3 different words as well ("The two boys went to the store too")
-Your and You're, same deal ("You're going to throw out your Lemon Demon CD's?")
-Semicolons. I for one love semicolons, but people don't know how to use them! They separate clauses that are related, but not grammatically joined. Thus, if the second clause starts with a conjunction like 'and' or 'but', it should be a comma and not a semicolon. (Correct usage: "Oh, it's all well and good when they speak another language fluently; I'm not so obsessed with my language that I think the entire world should speak it.")
There are more, I know it. However, these are the major offenders that, through ignorance of the language, have been allowed to run rampant through the streets while correct grammar cowers in its home, peering out the windows with a loaded shotgun on its knee.
You know that the absolute worst is? I speak it correctly, and other people, thinking they're so smart, try to correct me. And do it WRONG. And NEVER ADMIT IT. THAT is an unforgiveable crime.
("He punched Johnny and me!"
"You mean Johnny and I."
"He punched Johnny and I? Are you stupid? OBJECTIVE CASE! EAT IT!")
(Quick joke: I was ranting about this one day in school. My statement came out as thus: "Why can't nobody speak English no more?". I assure you, it was completely accidental.)
GPI: Fondly regard crustacean