Chuck Norris vs Mr.T (Page 5 of 16)

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Mr.T once ate an entire seven layer birthday cake before his friends told him there was a stripper in it.

Mr.T once swallowed an entire bottle of sleeping pills. He almost blinked as a result.

Originally James Cameron wanted Mr.T to play the Terminator. But since it would have made the movie a documentary, he opted for Arnold instead.

Mr.T played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver by himself. And won.

When Dr.Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Mr.T.When Mr.T gets mad, its best to not be in the same hemisphere

Mr.T went skydiving once without a parachute. He vowed never to do it again, saying one Grand Canyon was enough.

Godzilla was inspired by Mr.T's first trip to Tokyo

There are no such things as tornadoes.Mr.T just hates trailer parks

When Mr.T was born he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That day.

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The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Mr.T and made the mistake of forgetting to pay him back.

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish,he'll eat for a lifetime. Teach Mr.T to fish and marine biology ceases to exist.

There have been a few beings who could lift (Marvel) Thor's hammer,Mjolnir. Mr.T is the only person who beat his @$$ with it.

(and now for a Star Wars joke)
Jabba the Hutt used to be a tall, beautiful Twilek female named Eva, until she talked too much on a date Mr.T was so gracious to take her out on.After piting her to the point where she melted into the slug beast form, Mr.T renamed her "Jabba" to remind her no to jibba-jabba so much.

World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted half that  time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi and half the audience in attendance. He allowed the other half to keep living, so there would be witnesses to tell the story.

Complaining of back pain, Atlas once asked Mr. T to hold up the world for him. Mr. T agreed, on the condition that in exchange Atlas would wear Mr. T's golden necklaces. After five minutes of excruciating pain, Atlas asked for the world back.

Mr. T and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Mr. T has killed Mr. A through Mr. S; U through Z are slaves in his gold mine.

Mr. T has four stomachs like a cow. Still, he can't stomach no fool.

You can run, but you can't hide. Because Mr. T is already there.

(sterotypical pirate accent) me thinks your typing skillz are on break Karson, judging from the somewhat random pressing of the capslock key yarharg.

well, its a bad actor

....i reject your reality, and substitute my own.

If Mr.T pities you, you'll be lucky if you can walk for the rest of your life.

dude, if you are pittied, its almost like being roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris: your bodie dies so fast you dont even know that your dead for...like..a week.

well obviously mr. T didnt pitty you or else you couldent type, Mr.T didnt feel he needed t opitty you because he has greater concerns

The chances of surviving one Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick are: none

Mr.T doesn't pop collars; He pops collar bones.

Mr.T is the sole remainder of the universe previous to our own. In fact, he was the end of the universe previous to our own. He will probably be the end of this universe, as well.

yeah, he kills you so fast that its like he ripped your spirit out, your body falls, but you dont know it

but only if he gets angry with you agian, and roundhouse kicks your ghost.