Tell a joke (Page 2 of 4)

Very nice jokes. *I'm thinkin' new joke*

Eh?  Symtoms?  People get symptoms from diseases all the time.  Not just in the 1500s.  Not a very funny joke I'm sorry.

Here's another.  This one I have to say I copied and pasted off the internet.  I thought it was funny.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Thanks. And, yes, I loved yours.

What do you call a frog with broken legs?

Unhoppy.

Man sat in his Plane seat ,next to a Man and a Dog
When the Plane was in the Air he asked the Man  about the  Dog
He was told he was  a Policeman ,''I'll show you what this dog does''
''Search '' was the order,Dog went down the plane,came back ,put one Paw,up
''That means there is Hash aboard''
'' Amazing;; the man said
''Search '' Dog came back ,,but this time put his two Paws on the lap
''That means there is Hard Drugs on board''
He told the Dog to search again ..but ..this time the Dog did a BIG Crap on his Lap!!!
''That is disgrusting'  'the Man said ''What does that mean''!!!
The Polceman turned with Whited face and said shaking voice
    ''There's is a Bomb Aboard !!!!!!!!!!
   Bats

Two Finnish boys were playing ice-hockey when a big dog attacked to little brother. Big brother thought that he should do something and he killed the dog with his stick and the boys went home. But Aamulehti [it is Tampere's newspaper and Tampere is a city] was interested about that. So, they interviewed the big brother. After that they asked:
"Do want that we write on the first page: 'Tappara's fan saved his brother from a beast'?" [Tappara is ice-hockey team of Tampere]
"Well, yes but I don't support Tappara", said the big brother.
"What team do you support then?" asked the the columnist.
"I support TPS", said the big brother. [TPS is ice-hockey team of Turku and Turku is a city too]
On the next day when the big brother readed Aamulehti, on the first page readed:
"A juvenile devinquent from Turku killed a family dog shokingly with his stick!!"

Well, it is funnier if you are from Finland and you understand everything. Oh, and that base on that people from Tampere usually nag people from Turku. Hopefully you understanded...

I understood it Fox, it's funny.

My next joke:
What breakfast cereal do you have when your pet bird flies into a fan?

Shredded Tweet

Ha.  Haven't heard that one ever before.

3 construction workers are sitting on top of a high rise having lunch.  There is a Mexican, and Irishman, and a blonde guy.

The mexican opens his lunch and sees burritos.  "Aye yae yae!  If I get burritos one more time I'm jumping off this high rise!"

The Irish man opens his lunch and sees cabbage and potatoes.  "Ack!  If I get cabbage and potatoes again I'm jumping with ye!"

The blonde opens his lunch.  "Bologna sandwich! I'm jumping with you guys if I get it again."

THE NEXT DAY

The Mexican opens his lunch and sees burritos.  He screams and jumps off. 

The Irish man opens his lunch and sees cabbage and potatoes.  He screams and jumps as well.

The blond opens his lunch and sees a bologna sandwich.  He jumps as well.

AT THE FUNERALS

All the wives are crying and people are consoling them.

The Mexican's wife was hysterical, "If only I knew!  I could have packed him enchiladas!"

The Irishman's wife was bawling her eyes out as well, "I should have known!  I could have packed him something else!"

Everyone looked to the blond's wife.  She shrugs.  "Don't look at me, he packed his own lunch!"

Lol!!!!!!!!

That one was really, really, really, really funny Sev!

I understood that one. fully.

Rolling on the floor laughing my a** off.

Blonde joke...

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop:Do you know where you were going?

Blonde:No,but wherever it is,it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

The Irish gave the Scottish the bagpipe as a war present.  The Scottish still haven't gotten the joke.

But seriously I love the bagpipe.  One of the coolest sounding instruments.  I would say it's an acquired taste.