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In a moment of insanity I started writing this, see what you think and if you like it I can write some more:
Vader: Join me, it is the only way.
Luke: No, I'll never join you.
Vader: Obi-Wan never told you about your father.
Luke: He told me enough...
Luke: ...he told me you killed him.
Vader: No, Luke. I am your father.
Luke: Noooooooooooooooooo
Vader: Yeah, yeah. Well I asked your mother if she was taking birth control and she said she was.
[Pause] Never trust a woman who changes her outfit at least fifteen times a day.
Luke: My mother slept with a cyborg? Gross
Vader: Hey, I was a fine looking man back then. I just found out how to better accessorize.
Luke: Lalala, I'm not listening. I so don't need to know about your personal life.
Vader: Join the Darkside and I'll never speak of it again.
Luke: Temping but you really should have put that offer forward before you cut off my hand.
Vader: Right hands are over rated. I know where we can get you the best right hand ever. She’s got red hair and is very feisty. Palpatine is done with her for now.
Luke: Palpatine? You’re offering me his sloppy seconds? I don’t think so.
Vader: I thought you’d appreciate her over his Love Slave Gungun.
Luke: Ew, you’re certainly not convincing me that this Darkside gig is worth doing.
Vader: Well excuse me, at least I’m not the one in love with my sister.
Luke: Sister? I don’t even have a sister you geriatric fool.
Vader: Old bun-head. She’s your sister. When we tortured her we tested her DNA while we were at it. Some things actually worked on the Death Star before you destroyed it.
Luke: So that’s why you cut of my hand, for revenge?
Vader: I decline to answer that.
