Topic: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

Mr.T does not pay for gas to go in his car, The gas pays Mr.T to let it get in the car.

Mr.T dosnt use a car, he points at the ground and yells "Move!!!", and it gets him where he wants to be.(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZJaYOo_opc&mode=related&search=)

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Once, Mr.T visited Hiroshima in WWII as an ambassador of peace for the US. He sampled some of there food like a respectable tourist. However, the japanese gave him a bit of indigestion and gas. The resulting mushroom cloud ravaged Nagasaki, disentigrating many japanese instantly. There were very few survivors. Mr.T was unscathed. This incident was later repeated in Nagasaki with identical results.

(er, you said Nagasaki, when i think you ment Hiroshima)

Mr.T went there first. see the first sentence of ym earlier post. I think Hiroshima got bombed first, but I'm really not sure...

Mr.T was once infected by a xenomorph facehugger . After an agonizingly long period of suffering, the xenomorph died while still inside Mr.T, who ripped it out of his chest and threw it away.

(yes Hiroshima was bombed first, Nagasaki was bombed two days after that)

See, you said Nagasaki first, when I think you ment to type Hiroshima.
The secondtime is fine, but the first is supposed to be Hiroshima

Ah.....that's what you meant. Yeah, I meant hiroshima.

Chuck Norris invented awesomeness.

Uhh...

Your joke is null and void, good sir Adeptus!

A man from New Orleans once insulted Mr.T. And look what happened to New Orleans.

"GAHHHHHH" *Head explodes from lack of valid joke*

No ,your head didn't explode from a lack of joke, Mr.T just felt your time was up.

if you use http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_norris as your homework in any class, you will automatically get an A+ for the year.

If you use http://www.mrtvseverything.com/ for your hmework in any class, you will automaticlly get an A+++ the entire year.

"Entire Year"? If you use http://mrtvseverything.com for your homework in any class, you will automaticlly get an A+++ for your entire year, and every year following that.

if you use www.chucknorrisfacts.com for college, jobs, etc, you are guaranteed 100,000,000% success.

If you use http://mrtvseverything.com on a test in any class, you will become God-Emperor of the universe.

So , you turn into this guy? (its bigger then i thought sry, I'm talking about the dude in gold armor who isnt dead)

no, that's Chuck Norris' stand-in as he couldn't bother to be in Warhammer. nobody can be Chuck Norris, except for Chuck Norris.

Actualy, Chuck Norris played the Death Star, however, he had to tkae over three million grams of morphine to keep from destroying the universe. Orisginay, he was only supposed to destroy a continent, but when the entire planet blew up, they deccided to stick with that.

Chuck Norris only got the job because no amount of morphine in the universe could curb Mr.T's power. And Mr.T is not a big, fat metal ball the size of a moon.

yes he is

Only when he wants to be.

If you write Mr. T on anything it will promptly explode.

If you write Chuck Norris on anything, it will fart and wither away like a flower.

Phssh.  Exploding is better than farting.

then, it burst into flame and explodes, leaving only a ounce of ash, which, when consumed, has about the same effect (mentaly) of being round house kicked by a foot harder then a block of steel moving at nintey miles an hour, in the face.

either way Chuck Norris wins. always. no exceptions.

Unless he is going against Mr. T or a good script.

Even then, Chuck Norris wins over all.

But really, who's gonna consume a pile of ash?

well, consuming that ash is like smoking. so smoking is apparently the equivalent of being roundhouse kicked by a foot harder than a block of steel moving at 90 MPH.

Its breathable, and its only that specific ash, it scatters into the air, and is breathed in. Somehow, it directs itself to their nostrils/mouth.

Either way, Chuck Norris is the beginning. And end. Of everything.

Exept for Chuck Norris that is. A bean-burrito will be the end of him. But only when he decides it to be.

Which is never, because he's too busy roundhouse-kicking ass around the world.

lol, in US History we had jeopardy review for our test, and my team's name was the A-Team. We beat the other team (i won the final question for my team w00t) with a score of 68-14.

Have you seen the commercials for the nes Stephen King movie, "The Mist"? That mist was actually Mr. T's breath in the winter.

This should prove my point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA

That's hilarious!  Will it Blend is sweet.

Because Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the breath from his face, and the kick created whatever the creatures are.

"There are two types of bad guys: The ones that live, and the ones that meet Chuck Norris"

that clip was awesome!! i am now an instant fan of Will It Blend.

Night Elf Mohawk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqJE5TH5jhc

Mr. T doesn't have to look at the road to drive because the road curves around where HE goes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xpDUs4Q8kg .

Hey draco!  Long time no talk!
Technology Chari-ot!

The car was invented to get away from Chuck Norris, BUT not to be out done Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

And the tire blow out.

Woah.  I am afaid that any one of my lame Chuck Norris or Mr. T jokes would kinda fall flat...besides, they've probably already been said.  I just can't get over how many of those jokes there are....
(Chuck Norris' morning jumping jacks cause earthquakes in seven countries....at once.)  Yeah, it's lame, I know.

Mr. T reprogrammed the car as a seek and destroy super-vehicul (I know that isn't spelled right), looking for Chuck.

Mr. T is twice as heavy as Pantera.

Mr. T and Chuck Norris walked into a bar. The bar collapsed because it could not possibly contain the sheer awesomeness within.

Hey Sev! I haven't had much of a chance to get on recently.