Topic: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

Silly chuck norris...

Mr. T was to play the Terminator, but it would have turned into a documentary.

we know, you, or someone else, told us.

Its a good think Arnold whatever got the part instead then

The Mathematical Proof for Mr. T's Infinite Pity: For life to exist there must be a symmetric equation regarding the factors of pity(p) and fools(f) -> p-f=0. If any one factor rose to a level higher than the other, life as we know it would cease to exist. The fool factor can be decisively measured by dividing jibba-jabba(j) by tolerance for said jibba-jabba(t) -> f=j/t. With these two equations we can deduce: p-f=0; f=j/t ->p-(j/t) = 0 -> p = j/t. This equation leads to quite an interesting result. As we can see, if we hold jibba-jabba constant, as tolerance for said jibba-jabba approaches 0, pity approaches infinity. Now we all well know that Mr. T “ain’t got no time for the jibba-jabba.” In fact, extensive observational studies have been conducted and even with machines able to calculate with precision to the 23rd decimal place, Mr. T’s tolerance for jibba-jabba has been conclusively found to be 0, and therefore Mr. T’s pity is the literal embodiment of the concept of infinity.

....how long did it take you to type this???????????0.o??????

I wish I was that good at math....

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

HA!!! MR.T IS INFERIOR!!!!! If Chuck Norris was cloned the galaxy would reset. because it can only take one beard at a time!

Mr. T had to pity the omniverse so tat it would not implode. As you implied, Chuck can't do that. Chuck is inferior.

If Mr. T wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.

Mr. T doesn't screw in lightbulbs. He holds it in place while the room spins around in fear.

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives

Mr. T lost his virginity before his father.

That ones already been said

If you are reading this post, then Chuck Norris has not killed you yet. Be thankful.

Ok.......

If you show Mr. T a ship full of fools, he will show you a torpedo full of pity.

Show Chuck Norris a ship full of fools and he'll show you a Ship load of whoop ass

The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Mr. T was the murderer, it was in the U.S. hanger, and the weapon was a hamster.

Every Christmas, Mr. T dresses up in red, climbs down chimneys, and steals children to work in his gold mines.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach Mr. T to fish and he will rid the ocean of all perceivable life forms.

Teach Chuck Norris how to fish, and he'll bring you back all the birds of the sky

Teach Mr. T to fish, and he'll bring back every sunken ship, E. T., an old Soviet tank, Chuck Norris, 98 Japanese scientists, and Jupiter.

Teach Chuck Norris science, and he'll stop cancer (while simultaneously spreading it), scientifically implode the universe, and prove other life-forms from other planets can get their asses whooped by him.

Give Mr. T a butterfly, and you and everyone you have ever met will be dead before nightfall (when this happens, the victims usually have odd, winged patterns in their forehead).

Give Chuck Norris a butter fly and he'll make a new Galaxy out of it.....then kick every ones ass in it....with the same butter fly that he used to make the galaxy

Give Mr. T half a butter fly and he'll make a new universe out of it... then break every ones' spine in it... with the same half a butter fly that he used to make the galaxy

give Chuck Norris a butterfly and he'll butter his toast with it, just because he told it to.

and he'll tell a fake mop of hair to mop his dirty kitchen

Mr. T butters his toast with a knife for breakfast. By knife I mean King Kong. By toast I mean the Empire State building. By butter, I mean molten gold. By breakfast I mean dinner.

no,no,no MR.T doesnt butter his toast the knife butters it for him., lol  :)

I bet he finds a lot of hair in his toast....

Why don't you read the entire post, Green?

ok , dont believe but i actually like reading the entire threads now :)

King Kong's dessert.

okay....

have you heard the one about:

"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits."

i love that one!

Mr. T doesn't wait. He goes out and kills.

Mr.T  is like darth vader, he only belives he can kill people by pitting them, as vader cant realy chocke people without touching them, Chuck Norris is like a death-ray, he can kill some one without actualy hitting,or puncturing their physical body. those people Mr.t pitties, actual spontaniously comust for no reason other that Chuck's Will.

That is actually the complicated web of pity Mr. T weaved. He has Chuck believing that he (Chuck) controls the actions of pity, but T is playing him for a fool. Mr. T only puts far less 1% of pity on Chuck, as T finds the whoe set up humorous.

actualy, this is a even bigger conspiracy on Mr.T as you dont know, Chuck does this to give Mr.t a false sence of security.

But it is even bigger than that. Mr. T uses a microscopic amount pity on sections of Chucks brain so that he thinks he controls it all. T finds this even funnier.

Humor is actually a natural reaction to being on the same planet as Chuck Norris, so you dont die of fear.

But Mr. T can punch humor and every other emotion in the face.

then other emotions of fellings would take over as the natuarl response. and if Mr.T hit them, a new emotion would pop outa nowhere.

And Mr. T will break its arm.

an then another would come up, so eventually, Mr.T would get bored, and go do somthing else, like finish the shrine to Walker Texas Ranger that he has hidden in his kitchen cabinet

Which he will burn once it is complete. Mr. T can't stand bad acting.

so he sits down

On his chair of skulls.

that Chuck Norris gave him, after he had finished building his mansion of skulls.

That Mr. T gave him, after he finished building his universe of skulls.

chuck norris was his supplier. after he finished building his infinty/dimension of skulls....it includes a rib, just for variety